I wrote this back in 2007 - on my MySpace page (LOL!)- but its still relevant today!. Its about being THAT guy. You know, the a-hole at the ballgame, concert, or where-ever. The annoying person! The thing is - when you refer to THAT guy....you have to give him a name, and it should always begin with MR or MRS. Heres some classics - feel free to add your own - because I KNOW you know what Im talking about!
Here we go...
Mr No Shirt Guy: the loser at the football game in December who has to take his shirt off. He's usually in the vicinity of…
Mr Face Paint Guy: the idiot who has to paint his face the team colors. Usually quite drunk. And the camera ALWAYS finds this dude. Yeah, without you AND Tom Brady, the Pats wouldnt stand a chance!
Mr One Beer Too Many: that one beer transformed him from a funny dude to an a-hole. He is usually confused with Mr Beer Spilling Guy who dumps half his Miller Lite in your lap when he's coming back from his ninth trip to the pisser. He can also be confused with Mr Passed Out at the Concert Guy: he's the dude that scored the hottest ticket in town - only to overestimate his ability to handle Capt. Morgan. Asswipe.
Mr and Mrs Fighting Couple, Crying Chick….Guy. There is two at every concert. They're in the concourse. She's crying, trying not to look at the guy. And he looks pissed.
Mr Hey Im on TV guy: the idiots who either sit behind home plate, realize they're on tv – and call all their friends on the cell phone, OR – the idiots who jump around behind news reporters doing live reports.
Mr/Mrs Bring Your Dog to public events guy: People who feel the need to bring their huge, horse-like dog to public street fairs to it knocks over little kids, and old people in wheelchairs. Hey look, Chief! Do you really need to bring Cujo to the town Pumpkin Festival?
Mrs Arm Flailing Concert Dancer: Dave Matthews loves em. I hate em. They flail around like they're on friggin fire- and you get whacked with their petchooli smelling hairy arms.
Mr National Anthem Over-Singer Guy: HEY! Stop trying to sing the anthem like YOU think Chistina Aguilara would. Sing it straight- and get on with the ballgame. Loser..
Mr WWE Wrestling Champ Guy: heres the WWE fan who shows up to the WWE event with his own WWE Championship belt slung over his shoulder. Take it easy Chief Jay Strongbow……..
Mr Sit in the Wrong Seat Guy: the idiot who sits in your seat at a concert, and argues that YOU'RE wrong. Turns out – the moron is one section off. Idiot.
Mr/Mrs Miserable Guy/Chick: nothing makes this guy happy. He lives to be miserable. This guy could be in the fourth row of a Springsteen show - and he'd be complaining that "the shows toooo long". Secretly, I fantasize about tasering this dude till he defecates himself. (heh heh... I love the taser, as you know..)
Mr Heavy Sigh at the Urinal Guy: NOBODY enjoys a good piss more than this guy. He makes like it's the greatest relief in the world, when he decides to "unleash the Kracken". Woman who give birth to 15 lb babies dont sigh relief like this guy. It actually makes you jealous that his piss feels better than yours. I hate him for that...
Mr "I Can Do That" Guy: This idiot can do anything he sees done on the field. "What? Make an interception, break 9 tackles, and score a TD? I can do THAT!". Jackass.
Mr Wave Starter Guy: This guy can not understand why you don't want to do the wave- but he will try to start it for 4 innings until you finally relent- and make him the ballpark hero he so richly deserves to be….
Mr Blue Tooth, Yeah, Im Important Guy: this loser never takes off his blue tooth earpiece – even at a football game. You never know when an important multi million dollar deal will have to be made – so you gotta be ready, cuz you're the kind of guy who makes things happen, right Chief? Idiot.
Mr "What You Lookin At" Guy: this guy has a chip on his shoulder the size of Mt Rushmore. If you look at him – he'll bash your face in. Cuz that's how a badass like him rolls, beyotch…. You got a problem with that?
Feel free to chime in....you know you want to....
g
Greg Kretschmar
Greg Kretschmar
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The "Godfather".Thats what they call me. Some even say there's a "Soprano" resemblance. I dont see it. I've been doing mornings here since 1987. In radio years, that qualifies me to be a Jurassic Park exhibit, I think. But having Blacksmith, Roadkill, Laura, and Kelly there each morning keeps it fun. We hope it does for you too....
As for me - I'm just a normal guy in an abnormal job. I've got a great wife, 2 great kids, and a job that lets me play for a living. Yeah, that doesn't suck.....
Hope you enjoy the page- and if you got questions - then ask em! I'll try to answer all of em once I get em!
And keep checking back - because I add stuff all the time.Email me: greg@morningbuzz.com
Best,
g
On Air Details
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Greg and the Morning Buzz: Me, Andy Blacksmith, Scott "Roadkill" McMullen, Laura Boyce and Kelly Brown. 5:30am-10am. The Rock Station 100.3 WHEB, Portsmouth NH, Rock 101 WGIR-FM Manchester, The Hawk 104.9 Meredith/Laconia, and KOOL-93.9FM in Lebanon NH, and KOOL 96.3 in Keene. Tune in - join the family!
Personality Contacts
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Best way to reach me: greg@morningbuzz.com
Personality Bio
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Heres some random stuff about me, in no particular order:
Im a normal guy , in an abnormal job. I'm a NH guy, born and raised. I have a wife (Valerie) and two kids (Caitlin and Tyler) - and because of them, Im the luckiest guy in the world. UNH Graduate (84) and proud of it. I was the audio/visual aide in high school - so if you're overhead projector needed fixin' - I got the call over the p.a. (Mad props to all my A/V geeks out there!) I've been doing mornings since 1987 - and believe it or not - I still really enjoy it. Its great getting to come in to work everyday- work with the people I do, and talking to and with all of you tuning in! We try to make the show like you were entering into your living room, and all of your friends are there. Its casual, fluid, and sometimes famous people drop in. Relax....and pull up a chair. Welcome.
Things and people Im a fan of: Sinatra, The UNH Wildcats, the Sox-Patriots-Bruins, fried clams, U2, photography, racing, The Beatles, Larry the Cable Guy, Shephards Pie (with cream corn. any other way is communist), Tom Bergeron, Aerosmith, Bobby Orr, Carlton Fisk, Dale Jr, youth sports, Dan Brown, reading the Sunday papers out on the deck on a Sunday morning, coffee - not the fancy shit.....just coffee, making a difference, Field of Dreams, The Office, Old School, A Mighty Wind, Blacksmith, Roadkill, Laura and Kelly.
Things Im NOT a fan of: Clowns - I hate em ("We all float down here") . Door to door salesman (sorry bro, I dont come to your house and broadcast in your living room during dinner, do I?). Crazy pet people (ie: people with 5 cats). Blue Toothers who never take off their earpiece (its not cool, Gordon Gekko - its pretentious). Cheese (except on nachos and pizza). Negative people (you know, who hate and criticize everything), and Those who are more concerned with what they dont have - and forgetting about the things they do have. Trust me, theres more - but i'll keep it short!
Oh yeah - one more: The kid who played "Beans" on the show "Even Stevens". I hate that kid. I know. Its not right....but its true. I cant hide it.
Bottom line is, I get up in the morning, and go to a job I enjoy doing, and when its done - I come home to my family. Dont get any better than that, does it?
Greg's "NH CHRONICLE" Segment from WMUR-TV Channel 9
Personality Links
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
